I Just About Pissed Myself...

...because I was laughing so damn hard at this!

Apparently, it's not enough to try and guilt kids into not having sex, to lie to them about the evils of birth control, and to tell them masturbation leads to blindness. Now, kids aren't even supposed to give each other proper hugs. That's right, the "front hug" is now officially sinful. What used to be a simple, innocent gesture of friendship and closeness is now sexually charged and awkward. But don't worry, there's an alternative way to show how much you care, the Christian Side Hug! That's the actual name; I did not add the word Christian to this. You want proof? Here's a little video spelling out the dangers of front hugs (and kissing, but we already knew that was wrong), presented in such a way as to mesh with pop-culture attitudes, so that kids will pay attention.

Speaking of paying attention, keep an ear out for the sounds of sirens, gunshots, and threats of violence in this song. Just like in the Bible, violence is okay, but sex is evil.




I have a feeling this is just the beginning. Pretty soon it'll be the Christian Handshake (not to be confused with the Freemason Handshake, or the Cool Black Guy Handshake), then the Christian Wave From Across the Room, and ending with the Christian Separate Bedroom (for married couples only!). It's an exciting time to be a Christian!

Slightly Redundant

I think it's a pretty fair assumption that the people who read my blog also read my wife's blog(and vice versa). A couple days ago, I showed her a couple youtube videos that I thought were pretty damn funny. Her response was write a short post, and include those videos.

That thunder thief! I was going to post them!!!

So, for most of you(honestly, I don't know why I keep talking like there's a large audience here...anyway...) this will be slightly redundant. I say slightly, because I've chosen other vids that I like a little bit more. So there.

Miscommunication

So, a funny thing happened to me the other day. I sent Jen a simple text message, asking when she'd be done with work. I get a question mark in reply. Upon closer inspection, I see that I've typed in the wrong phone number and have texted a complete stranger somewhere in eastern Washington. So I write back, saying sorry wrong number. I get a reply: No worries :-)
"That's the end of that," I think.

Imagine my surprise when I get another text: "Is there any reason why we can't get together? There's no obligation to buy anything :-)" Hmmm, what an amazingly clever invitation for casual sex, I think. I promptly write back to say as much.

Then I notice there's another message in my inbox that arrived before the last one. It says this: "This is crazy but I'm looking for models for my professional portfolio. I'm a MaryKay consultant and I'd love a woman's honest opinion of our product line :-)"

Oops.