Karaoke: A Celebration of Mediocrity

I have a very difficult relationship with the cultural phenomenon known as Karaoke. I love singing; in fact, I feel like it's one of the few things I do really well. People generally don't cringe when I sing. I enjoy karaoke because it's one of the few chances I get to show people how good I am at singing. On the other hand, I hate terrible singers. Terrible singers like karaoke because it's one of the few chances they get to show people how good they are at singing. People generally cringe when they sing.

I mention all this because I'm baffled at the fact that there are so many people who can't sing, yet still do karaoke. Most people don't like performing in front of other people because they're afraid of embarrassing themselves. Usually this fear is what causes them to embarrass themselves. This is normal; it happens to everyone. In an attempt to get around this situation, I only do things in public that I'm good at, i.e. singing. I don't try to breakdance in public, because I can't breakdance(although I'm getting better). Yet there are always several people in every karaoke bar who are terrible, and continue to make everyone in the bar feel uncomfortable. I've also found that these people are usually regular performers.

Most of the time you can tell who these people are before they even touch the microphone. They're the one's who look like they have no place else to go. They might be by themselves, or with a small group of friends, all with that same dead look in their eyes. They kind of look like dogs who've been kicked around a bit. Just from the look of them, you can tell that the karaoke bar is the only place they feel accepted.

Now, don't think I'm being too cocky about this. I've had bad performances before. But that's when I stop singing. Not forever, just until I've either a) sobered up some or b) learned the song better. I'm not going to continue to assault the ears of everyone else in the place. But these people just don't seem to know when to quit. Not only that, but other people in the bar will clap for terrible performances. I think it's in recognition of their bravery. Bravery and stupidity often go hand in hand.

Honestly, I think the reason karaoke is so popular is that it allows people who have no chance whatsoever of becoming the famous stars they adore to feel what it's like, if only for an instant. I can certainly appreciate that. Hell, it's why I like playing Rock Band so much. And I'm not saying that if you can't sing, you're stupid. There are lot's of people who can't sing who can do things I can't. I don't even know how to change the oil in my car. But at the same time, I'm not offering to change your oil. Or forcing you to let me change your oil. And please don't clap for me when I break your car.